The waiting game

At 12, I was sure I’d be rich at 25.  What I meant by rich was just loads of money.  Other than that, I had no clarity about my life–didn’t know where I wanted to live, how I wanted to spend my days, how I wanted to use my wealth; I just wanted money. 

Now I’m 25 and I certainly don’t have loads of money.  What went wrong?  I’d sometimes find myself a bit down because the wealth I imagined all throughout my youth never made its appearance in my bank account, not even for a cameo.  Then I had to start looking at myself honestly: if I can’t manage what I have now, how can I ever hope to have more? 

Perhaps I’m not ready for a lot of money yet.  Perhaps I need clarity…focus…a stronger connection spiritually.

The fact of the matter is, if I always look at myself through the perspective of where I think I should be, I’ll never be happy.  And where is this should coming from?  To whom does it belong?  Is it my ‘should’ or someone else’s?  If I believe que sera sera, then what is a ‘should’?

If I’m going to maintain extraordinary expectations of myself, I need to make sure that my actions are also extraordinary…and I need to be patient!  Great power given to the wrong people is a waste and so is great power given to the right people at the wrong time.

April 2, 2008 | filed under consider this, moment of truth, thoughts 

comments

One Response to “The waiting game”

  1. Tom Humes on April 2nd, 2008 11:26 am

    Nice Site layout for your blog. I am looking forward to reading more from you.

    Tom Humes

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