For the past few weeks, maybe months, I’ve been struggling with writer’s block.Ã‚Â What to write about?Ã‚Â What matters?Ã‚Â What’s important? Sometimes, or maybe all of the time, we’re plagued with that question.
Tonight, I sat down and watched When the Levees Broke, Acts 1-2 for the second time.Ã‚Â I’m flooded with emotion: hurt, disappointment, rage…among other feelings that I don’t really want to feel.Ã‚Â I think things I don’t want to think.Ã‚Â Yet neither those feelings nor those thoughts can be disregarded or belittled simply because I’m emotional.Ã‚Â This past weekend, I watched Malcolm X and some of those same emotions and thoughts came up.
What a world we live in!Ã‚Â Sinister people are in power and they institute sinister practices, policies, and plans.Ã‚Â All the while, some people are too busyÃ‚Â fully enjoying their freedoms or too busyÃ‚Â just trying to make it or already too down to handle the pessimism to pay it any attention.Ã‚Â Problems ignored will never abate.Ã‚Â Big problems are usually small problems ignored.Ã‚Â That’s what Katrina was.Ã‚Â Essentially, that’s what the whole civil rights movement was too.Ã‚Â Ã‚Â “Small” problems ignored.Ã‚Â All that was needed was complete and capable levees and humane treatment to begin with.
I often struggle with myself, beingÃ‚Â a descendent of slaves, belonging to a group whose human rights were and are consistently neglected simply because of the color of their skin.Ã‚Â The hatred white people have for us is unfounded.Ã‚Â Groundless.Ã‚Â They continue to express this contempt in political practice, judicial process and corporate consuetude.Ã‚Â Then, somehow, our unfavorable reaction–because how dare we take offense toÃ‚Â the negative treatment we receive–gives credence to the belief that we are miscreants undeserving of humane treatment.
San Diego catches fire and there’s immediate reaction.Ã‚Â “Oh, they learned from Katrina.”Ã‚Â No, they were white and of relative economic importance.Ã‚Â Sadly, I don’t even know what’s going on in the Midwest.Ã‚Â It’s unfortunate when any lives are lost or when anyone experiences catastrophes like this.Ã‚Â I bet we’ll hear more about Iowa, Wisconsin, and Indiana much longer than we heard about Katrina.Ã‚Â
My preference is to not be pegged as the angry black woman.Ã‚Â But…I’m angry.Ã‚Â I’m black.Ã‚Â I’m a woman.Ã‚Â And I’m too outspoken, so perhaps it’s my fate.Ã‚Â