Someone needs you

i need you

In my family is a very attractive young man with a generally ugly disposition. He’s been like this for years. No one really tried to find out why; we matched his attitude with more attitude. Maybe it’s pre-teen and teenage angst. Who can say? Honestly, I don’t think anyone cared what was bothering him; we just wanted him to be more pleasant. Sadly, I was amongst that group until a little over a week ago.

An explosive event triggered something I’d let slip away from me: those who are hardest to love usually need it most.

For years, he’s been signaling for help, but we didn’t recognize the cry. I finally did. I held him and told him I loved him. Told him I wanted to spend some time with him, just the two of us. He agreed and I smiled. He thinks I smile too much; I think he’s too bitter to recognize why he should smile more. Since I reached out to him, he’s reached out to me, inviting me over to spend time with him. I always respond with a yes, even agreeing to play chaffeur for an evening so he could attend a party while his mother made other plans.

In the midst of going to meet with him once, I thought of something that’s stuck with me ever since: We may not always want the responsibility that comes with relationships, but someone needs us to live up to it.

The whole is greater than the sum of its parts and our lives are so much greater than us as individuals. Reach out to those you love who need you. They may not say they do. They may not need your advice. They may just need you to listen.

Listen with your eyes, your ears, and your heart. Someone needs you.

Photo source: Adam Lamucho

January 5, 2010 | filed under consider this, moment of truth, pay attention 


3 Responses to “Someone needs you”

  1. Salaam Freeland on January 6th, 2010 2:03 am

    We have a family member pretty much the same who we’ve been reaching out to for years (but probably not as often as we should). Yesterday he came to dinner, opened his birthday present and was as pleasant as ever. But when he left, instead of me asking when we’re going to see him again he asked what we were doing on Thursday. He probably doesn’t realise, but that was a significant shift in character.

    A very relevant article, and possibly more relevant to everyone else who’s reading it, than they realise.

  2. Heidi Brusek on January 6th, 2010 11:27 pm

    I can not begin to tell you how happy this makes me. He is so lucky to have you in his life as you are lucky to have him in yours. You are such a kind person. Keep smiling. Great blog, I love reading it.

  3. Leandra on January 7th, 2010 5:37 am

    Salaam, I think it is more relevant than we realize. Something’s awakened in me over the years, this awareness that I honestly do believe in the good in people. Relentlessly! I may be a recovering cynic, but I have this incredible understanding about pain and how it motivates us. As a collective, we are broken. We don’t know our beauty, we don’t know our value, we don’t know we can access our greatness. But it’s there, in all of us. So I believe.

    Heidi, thank you! I am incredibly blessed to have him in my life. I’ve yet to tell him so. Thank you so much for the reminder. 🙂

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