What My World's Like

What My World Sounds Like: “Beautiful People”

Apr
25

It’s your life. It’s your life.
Your beauty’s deep inside. Inside you.
Don’t let ’em bring you down, no.
Your beauty is inside of you.
Don’t let ’em bring you down, no.

“Beautiful People” feels good. The music makes me want to move. The words make me smile. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Pardon me as I excuse myself to dance around the bedroom.

#notetoself

Apr
22

the quest for greener pastures is often unfortunate and eternal. if you water your own grass,
you might find that you already have the makings of what you’ve been wanting.

the creation of what we desire is infinitely more rewarding than the mere discovery.

the fringe benefits of failure.

Apr
21

Inspiring and on-point, JK Rowling’s commencement speech at Harvard is definitely a must-see to remind us all about the beauty in the labyrinth called life. ‘Mistakes’ and ‘failure’ can lead us to our greatest successes if we learn. There is an up-side.

Find the good.

go with the flow.

Apr
17

My belated apologies for not posting anything or even posting this message beforehand but I’ve been traveling. Remember this? That’s what I’ve been up to for the past few weeks. An abundance of thoughts and feelings overwhelm me.

For now, I’ll just say that the last few days in the beautiful and wondrous Barcelona have reminded me of all the magic in this world; the magic that has been and the magic that will be. Imagine walking down a street, knowing so little of the language that at every block you have to once again ask for directions just to make sure you’re heading the right way. That’s been my reality. Even with its moments of trepidation, I can attest to the gloriousness of it all.

When it all falls apart, or when it never fully connected in the first place, “you figure it out,” as someone told me I would prior to my departure. I figured it out. It all came together.

#notetoself: go with the flow. have some faith. use your intuition.

Let’s listen to the kids

Apr
11

I originally posted this video on November 7, 2008, and was reminded of it a few days ago when the CEO of Fiat/Chrysler incorporated it into his speech at the University of Bologna.

Born and raised in Vancouver, Severn Suzuki has been working on environmental and social justice issues since kindergarten. At age 9, she and some friends started the Environmental Children’s Organization (ECO), a small group of children committed to learning and teaching other kids about environmental issues. They traveled to 1992’s UN Earth Summit, where 12 year-old Severn gave this powerful speech that deeply affected (and silenced) some of the most prominent world leaders. The speech had such an impact that she has become a frequent invitee to many UN conferences.

i used to hate myself.

Apr
01

eating disorder. i hate myself.

I used to hate myself. Used to hate so much about my appearance. My hair when it wasn’t “done”, meaning perfectly straight, which it is naturally incapable of ever being. My body because it wasn’t slim enough; too much muscle and too much fat in comparison to the svelte bodies I began to crave mine to be. I absorbed all the images this society and its media dished out to me about what was beautiful, and by omission, what was not beautiful. The regarded beauty was all white and almost none of it reflected the characteristics inherent to my ethnicity, whose beauty was dismissed to the point of disappearance.

Hate is a strong word and when I use it in reference to someone else’s feelings about themselves, they always resist. “I don’t hate myself.” Oh, okay. It is a hard pill to swallow.

What I’m talking about is a deep, urgent, secret longing to be “other” than what you already are. A strong desire to give up that which you have and are for that which you don’t have and aren’t, but want and want to be. On a spectrum gauging love and hate, these remorseful feelings of self-rejection sit opposite of love and squarely in conjunction with hate. If the word stings a bit or feels like a knife to the heart, good; one cannot love oneself and reject oneself at the same time. Some truths hurt so much, we choose to ignore them, to not face them; yet, what we resist persists.

To remedy the problem I had with my body, I became obsessed with managing what I put in my body. The irony is that I learned how to have an eating disorder from a television special warning about the dangers of having an eating disorder. Throw up your food or refrain from eating altogether. I thought it was brilliant, really. I thought I was in control. I was wrong.

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