be this strong.
This past week gave me the rare opportunity to spend time with a toddler. It was a really affirmative and awakening experience. As I approach the end of my twenties, consideration to marriage and children has landed upon me quite startlingly considering the slight opposition I had to them in my early twenties. It wasn’t a staunch opposition; mostly, I just didn’t quite see either for myself. For years, I’d say that down the line, I saw myself with children, but didn’t know how they got there. Lately, that’s been all turned around. Being a great mother and wife are very important to me, despite my singleness. I see myself in an amazing partnership with lots of love for each other and for our child(ren). Being 28, this change of heart isn’t unheard of, even if it did surprise me.
Last week, my oldest friend, Alicia, was in town for a few days with her daughter, Gia, and husband, Gene. We made arrangements for me to babysit oneday so they both could get some work done. This is New York City and most of my friends are single and childless; I don’t babysit often. In fact, I can’t even remember the last time I’ve watched a toddler by myself. Still, I was actually really excited.
I awoke Wednesday morning with a mere five or six hours of sleep, but up with a sense of duty: I need to trek it to Manhattan to babysit Gia. Because of her torso wiggle dance, they call her Boogie. I call her Boogie Monster. She doesn’t get the reference, but it still makes her laugh, which makes me laugh.
After four hours of watching Boog by myself, a friend stops by to tag team the babysitting process with me not long before Alicia and Gene return. I spent 13 hours with her before going home and sleeping for 13 hours after that. The next day when I saw Alicia and Gene, I joked that Gia was a higher human being who knew how to consume human energy, while the rest of us feeble humans needed food. Really, after that night, I gained an even greater respect for my friend who works from home and has her daughter with her most of the time. Where does she get the energy? How does she have so much on her plate and make it work?
you won’t want everything you need.
appreciate the journey.
Without a doubt, life has revealed the presence of this flow, this movement, this protection. Lately, I’ve been getting just what I need, whether it’s a momentary break from the imminent stormy weather long enough to see me through a beautiful, dry bike ride to work, music that makes me smile or puts me face-to-face with myself, a kind word, or a highly unlikely situation that restores my spirit and inspires me. Even with the challenges that accompany life, lately I’ve been feeling even more inspired, more in-tune, more connected to the magic and wonder this world offers. And I’m so very apreciative of it.
This snippet of Oprah’s Master Class where she discusses how The Color Purple taught her about the importance the role surrender plays in the process of getting what you want. It was so amazing and powerful, I wanted to share the entire videos from which the snippet was excerpted. If these videos are too much for you to commit to, please do watch this. It’s much shorter, yet incredibly powerful and inspiring.
Returning to the idea presented in today’s #notetoself, “God can dream a bigger dream for me, for you, than you ever could for yourself.” Thanks, Oprah.
Best wishes on your journey.
A few months ago, I met these awesome twin pastors and in a sermon, one of them said he tried to only say what was necessary one day and found himself having to be very quiet. It made me think about how much we say. How many words and ideas and opinions come out of our mouths. How much of it is necessary or even relevant? How much of it reflects the type of person we want to be?
In analyzing myself, I’ve noticed how much I give my opinion. Without request. “There it is, I’ll give it to you.” While I appreciate the boldness, albeit blind, and openness of it, I’m just one person of nearly seven billion. I certainly don’t want to know everyone’s opinion on everything because…I don’t care. And, in most cases, unless someone asks me, they don’t care about mine.
I need to humble myself. In fact, I’m about to. I’m going to see what happens when I focus on only saying what’s necessary. If it doesn’t improve upon silence, must it be said?
Enter the silence.
i’ve been listening to a lot of jazz. it’s taken over my life, and i couldn’t be happier about it. it started with the ipod shuffle to a robert glasper song. made me realize i needed a live show in my life. this was a tuesday night. the first venue i looked up was the jazz standard. how about the robert glasper trio is playing there the following thursday to sunday?
now i’m experiencing an amazing domino effect. look at robert glasper’s twitter feed, find an interview of his labelmate, trumpeter ambrose akinmusire. fall in love with akinmusire’s music. on a youtube search for his song “ruby”, i find about a trio called pascal’s triangle, led by pianist pascal le boeuf. looking at pascal’s work, i discover he’s a twin (being a twin, i have a special affinity for them. :)). he has two albums with his brother, remy, and they’re both pretty cool. the composition is really interesting and emotive. they’re incredibly talented in their arrangements and playing, especially to only be in their early twenties.
the le boeuf brothers’ first album was house without a door and the video above is the title track. the one below is “wetaskiwin”.
absolutely. friggin. insane. not just these songs, but the album in its entirety.
to enjoy the inevitable spurts of progress and the fruits of accomplishment,
then serenely to accept the new plateau that waits just beyond them.
To love the plateau is to love what is most essential and enduring in your life.”
– George Leonard, Mastery
Ambrose Akimusire‘s Blue Note debut album, When The Heart Emerges Glistening, is a meditation. It’s pensive. It’s honest. It’s heartwrenching. It brings you into the present. It’s gorgeous. He’s a super promising young musician whose work excites me.
“Confessions to My Unborn Daughter” is my absolute favorite song right now. It makes me want to start a journal to eventually give to my (currently nonexistent) children after I use it as my own parenting guide. Listening to it may not necessarily make you feel like doing the same, but it will make you feel, if not feel good. Enjoy.