“I’m great.” I mean it.

November 18, 2007 | Filed Under Moment of Truth, Rewritable words, Thoughts 

While some don’t want it taught in schools, the “theory” of evolution is a very important one.  In addition to the biological implications, there are also psychological implications.  At this moment, I’m not who I was six months ago, who wasn’t who I was a year before that, who was markedly different the year before that.  I’m on a constant quest to grow, change and improve.  Sometimes that goal requires updating or adding some things, but often times, it requires subtraction, simplification.  See, less really is more contrary to what the marketers want you to think. 

Most of my problems tend to be from too much complication and that if I could live simply, I’d find much more peace with myself and the world.  It’s taken years to get to this point–a successive series of epiphanies, felicities, and moments or periods diametrically opposed to either of the aforementioned states.  It’s called life and it includes a range of experiences and emotions.  We believe that we want to experience just a few coexisting states such as never-ending joy and abundance.  But “in the absence of that which is not, that which is is not” (CWG).  In order to truly experience abundance, one must know what the lack of abundance feels like.  The same goes for anything and everything.

There were times when the only thing I liked about myself was something completely superficial and even now at 24, I feel only steps away from that.  Still, I’ve worked hard to get here and that’s because I believe that change is possible.  Thinking it isn’t only removes the possibility for the one who thinks it isn’t.  Of course, change is possible.  Look all around you.  While megalomaniacs attempt to maintain and tip the status quo in their favor, so much of life is different for you now than it was only a few years ago.  Hopefully, this change is evidenced in your personality.  Hopefully. 

I’m constantly looking for the next metamorphosis.  Sure, some changes take longer to manifest than others.  Sometimes, I just have to sit with information for a little while before I’m really called to action.  We all do.  If change was automatic, life–as we understand it now–would be completely different…unrecognizable. 

Part of my evolution has been coming to terms with the idea of perfect imperfections.  Understanding that while there may be something about myself that I don’t particularly like (and I always have to ask ‘why not?’), it is what it is.  I can accept it or be miserable.  At the end of the day though (I suppose at the beginning and middle, too), I don’t understand why I would choose to hate myself when I can just as easily decide to do the complete opposite and be overwhelmingly happy with my decision and its results. 

I’m working on getting to the point where I can say “I’m great” and that short declaration be a profound and heartfelt statement.   I’m getting there.  The evolution never stops.  The thing about human evolution is that it can happen so rapidly, but only as quickly as we allow.

“At first people refuse to believe that a strange new thing can be done, then they begin to hope it can be done—
then it is done and all the world wonders why it was not done centuries ago.”
- Frances Hodges Burnett

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