* If I had a pellet gun…

December 5, 2007 | Filed Under Pay attention, Random, Thoughts 

The places I’d go, the things I’d do, the people I’d shoot…

PUBLIC ENEMY NO. 1:
For starters, public cigarette smokers. They kill people. This is a fact and extremely public information, yet not the least bit discouraging enough for smokers. Thing is…they don’t just kill those that smoke; they’re more dangerous to non-smokers.  Yet, still not discouraging enough.

It’s already bad enough that we live in a post-modern era where pollution is so much the norm that it’s not even discussed.  It’s bad enough that there’s a trend towards urbanization so there are conglomerated converging energies everywhere, people stacked on top of people, and urban pollution. When I walk down the street, I don’t want to inhale your death sticks.  Just because you have no will to live doesn’t mean that I don’t.

They’d get shot four times: twice in the mouth, one on each lip; and twice on the hands, one on each index finger. Maybe a bonus shot to the ear for associative pain purposes.

PUBLIC ENEMY NO. 2:
Next, litterers. Who do they think they are? Somebody’s just supposed to clean up after them?Lazy pricks.

Two the forehead, one to the chest.

PUBLIC ENEMY NO. 3:
Then, loud people in quiet places. If you live in the city and catch public transportation, there’s nothing better than a quiet commute. The audacity of some people never ceases to amaze me though. It’ll be perfectly quiet on the train and then some completely rude person or people will broadcast their entire conversations for the whole car to hear. No consideration.

They’d get it in the cheeks. Shut up next time.  Read a book.  Use your inside voices.

This also goes for the people who have their headphones up so loud that people several feet away can sing along. No bueno.

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I’m not encouraging violence, but…there seems to be a limit to the effectiveness of talking to people. The only people I really plan on shooting are smokers. Twice in the mouth, twice in the hands, or anywhere else I see fit.  I’m even thinking about the throat for people who smoke around kids.

The moral of the story is…watch out.  You don’t know where you’ll find me.

* This has been a random rant.

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