For years, I’ve been meaning to set aside the time to create a cohesive vision of how I’d like my life to look. Every area: health and fitness, career, finances, emotional life, spiritual life, social life, romantic life, etc. Occasionally, I’ll remind myself that fuzzy targets don’t get hit and when it comes to understanding exactly what I want, there’s often quite a bit of fuzziness.

At the end of the month, I’ll be embarking upon one of the scariest and simultaneously most exciting adventures of my life: I’m taking off to Central America for two and half months. The why is multifold. The timing is just perfect. It’s winter and the only way I enjoy winter is with some sun and warmth; wearing socks indoors and sleeping with hoodies and heating pads isn’t my thing. Additionally, I’m not sure when else all the factors in my life will align perfectly to create another opportunity like this one.

Before I take this journey, I’ve begun to start critically examining my life. There are gaps that need to be closed and the first step is identifying where I am and where I’d like to go. The quote above is helping me maintain my motivation for actually completing this process. It’s my wish that it’s of assistance to you as well.

Here’s a short video of an impromptu interview before he was arrested.

Read more about this here.

This past week gave me the rare opportunity to spend time with a toddler. It was a really affirmative and awakening experience. As I approach the end of my twenties, consideration to marriage and children has landed upon me quite startingly considering the slight opposition I had to them in my early twenties. It wasn’t a staunch opposition; mostly, I just didn’t quite see either for myself. For years, I’d say that down the line, I saw myself with children, but didn’t know how they got there. Lately, that’s been all turned around. Being a great mother and wife are very important to me, despite my singleness. I see myself in an amazing partnership with lots of love for each other and for our child(ren). Being 28, this change of heart isn’t unheard of, even if it did surprise me.

Last week, my oldest friend, Alicia, was in town for a few days with her daughter, Gia, and husband, Gene. We made arrangements for me to babysit oneday so they both could get some work done. This is New York City and most of my friends are single and childless; I don’t babysit often. In fact, I can’t even remember the last time I’ve watched a toddler by myself. Still, I was actually really excited.

I awoke Wednesday morning with a mere five or six hours of sleep, but up with a sense of duty: I need to trek it to Manhattan to babysit Gia. Because of her torso wiggle dance, they call her Boogie. I call her Boogie Monster. She doesn’t get the reference, but it still makes her laugh, which makes me laugh.

After four hours of watching Boog by myself, a friend stops by to tag team the babysitting process with me not long before Alicia and Gene return. I spent 13 hours with her before going home and sleeping for 13 hours after that. The next day when I saw Alicia and Gene, I joked that Gia was a higher human being who knew how to consume human energy, while the rest of us feeble humans needed food. Really, after that night, I gained an even greater respect for my friend who works from home and has her daughter with her most of the time. Where does she get the energy? How does she have so much on her plate and make it work?

It’s always interesting to hear why people want to have children. One common reason is to teach, which is an imperative I can understand and relate to. What’s intersting, though, is that there’s so much to learn from children. One of the biggest epiphanies I’ve had came from observing this 13-month old child reaching for any and everything. Babies don’t know what’s good for them or bad for them, and they don’t care. Really, they want what they want. When you intercept and say “no, that’s not good for you,” they cry and have tantrums. Sometimes, it’s a wail of cry from deep down. They’re really invested in what they want and how dare anyone get in the way.

Then I thought about myself. When I don’t get what I want, I may not have a physical tantrum, but I may have an emotional one. My attitude can instantly turn pissy as I experience my fit of frustration. Just like a child’s. Just like a 13-month old baby. But I’m an “adult”. Acting quite similar to a child. Maybe what I want and don’t get is something I don’t need. Or something I’m not ready for. Perhaps what I really need is something I don’t want at all.

The Boogie Monster taught me that I need to grow up and be patient. As a baby, she’s allowed a phase for tantrums, but that period for me has long since passed. To purport to believe that everything has a purpose and then to act out because I don’t get what I want is incongruent.

As much as I like to fancy the idea of children right now, those 13 hours were pivotal in letting me know how much I’d like to get done before I have to make that sort of lifetime commitment. Children are amazing and as much as possible, I really want to be ready. And mature. Having the time, money, and energy to dedicate to implementing the vision of parenting I have is now of the utmost importance. I have to grow to grow up.

Related:

• surrender.

In analyzing myself, I’ve noticed how much I give my opinion. Without request. “There it is, I’ll give it to you.” While I appreciate the boldness, albeit blind, and openness of it, I’m just one person of nearly seven billion. I certainly don’t want to know everyone’s opinion on everything because…I don’t care. And, in most cases, unless someone asks me, they don’t care about mine.

Hmmm.

I need to humble myself. In fact, I’m about to. I’m going to see what happens when I focus on only saying what’s necessary. If it doesn’t improve upon silence, must it be said?

Enter the silence.

Image source

What is it? In a word, awesome. In a few, The BMW Guggenheim Lab is a mobile laboratory traveling to nine major cities worldwide over six years. Led by international, interdisciplinary teams of emerging talents in the areas of urbanism, architecture, art, design, science, technology, education, and sustainability, the Lab addresses issues of contemporary urban life through programs and public discourse. Its goal is the exploration of new ideas, experimentation, and ultimately the creation of forward-thinking solutions for city life.

It’s a pretty awesome idea and all the events they feature are free, prohibiting no socioeconomic group from attendance. Fun and free is always fantastic. It ends on October 16th, so head over while you can, before it travels to Berlin and Mumbai. In 2013, there will be an exhibition at the Guggenheim before completing two more 3-city cycles.

When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle…
When 24 hours in a day is not enough…
Remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes’.

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things – family, children, health, passions.

Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else – the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So…

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

Take care of the golf balls first – the things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.

“I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

Intense feelings can lead to anger, a secondary emotion. By secondary emotion, I mean you feel something else before you actually feel anger. Tune in on that emotion. Feel that. What need do you have that isn’t being met, or is being violated? Safety? Honesty? Affection? Respect? Attention?

Use your anger as emotional feedback, as a barometer indicating when you’re in the red. When you know the underlying feelings and missing needs in play, you can work more effectively towards resolving the situation peacefully and heathily.

There’s a fire, an urgency to being angry. Let it work for you, not against you. Understand it to use it.

My music sharing friend, Rodrick, told me about Mara Hruby a while back. I downloaded the album, put it on my iPod and went about my business. Recently, I’ve been giving her EP, From Her Eyes a lot of play. She’s got a pretty voice and does well handling men’s songs. Looking forward to more Mara.

This Van Hunt cover, “Character”, asks a very important question we should all reflect on. Enjoy!

Mara Hruby – “Character”

Image Source: 3-Way Street by ronconcocacola

.

The more I understand about highly sensitive people, my curiosity grows. Is this me? Perhaps…

Is it you?

Take the test and learn more about Elaine Aron’s research on the highly sensitive person at hsperson.com.

Once upon a time, I was a health zealot. Whether or not you asked, I’d gladly and immediately inform you of the contents of your food and any health risks they posed. My intention wasn’t to be a zealot; it was to be helpful. I was open and ready for that information and assumed everyone else was, too.

I was wrong.

Over time, I’ve ebbed and flowed with health. It’s prominence rises and falls. Over the course of the last year or so, it’s fallen. I’ve had beef (I thought it was veal), I’ve had pork (I knew it was pork), and I’ve consumed lots and lots of sugar. As of late, however, my attention to health has been on the rise.

It’s not even necessarily what’s present in my diet, so much as what’s been missing: easily digestible, nutrient rich plant-based foods.

Preventative health, mostly based around diet, used to be such a large focus in my life, and over time has dwindled away. But I miss it. I believe in it. I want it back.

That said, last week, I decided to detox by eating raw foods for two weeks. At first, I was super nervous, even tentative about lasting the entire time. By the time the first day arrived, I was mentally prepared and fully committed. On the second day, I realized it was my one year anniversary of moving to New York (sentimental, I know) and decided to, on day three, treat myself to a dinner at the raw restaurant near my house.

Best decision ever. I’m so about to eat lots of raw foods. Not just for the next two weeks, but period. I’m interested in optimal health.

I saw the Forks Over Knives trailer posted above and thought you’d be interested in knowing that optimal health is at the end of your fork.

If health and food politics are of interest to you, you may also like:

• Sucker MDs
• Food, Inc.

This is a magical and wondrous world. All based on energy.

What you put out comes back to you. Align yourself with love.

Image source

Image source: …an open vessel…