Source: The Science of Happiness

Source: TheThinkMovement.com

I’m different. I’ve always been different, always felt different, but didn’t always have peace with it. Sometimes I fought it, bumped heads with others because of it, and even embraced it. It’s a sordid past I share with it. As I matured, though, I began to appreciate the fact that I was different. I eventually found it odd that most of us spend so much of our youth trying to fit in before usually spending the rest of our lives trying to distinguish ourselves. After all, aren’t we all different?

My official occupation for the past five years should read “nomad”. I’ve lived in New York, Philadelphia, Chicago, San Antonio, St. Louis, and even in an L.A. suburb. Right now, I’m on my way to South Korea. Each line of my resume places me in a different state and/or in a different industry so it’s quite likely that most companies seeking a long-term employee will immediately discard it upon review despite my qualifications; it doesn’t exactly scream company loyalty. Here’s the thing: I’m okay with that. Why? Because I’m different. That fact is evidenced not just by my thought process, hairstyle, interests or style of dress; my journey and choices are highly reflective of my individuality. My path hasn’t always been easy or glamorous, but it has been true to my essence as a free spirit.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, here’s a little something else: you’re different, too. You have dreams you haven’t followed, thoughts you haven’t shared, passions you haven’t explored. In short, you have a life you haven’t lived.

I’ve received both criticism and praise for living my life the way I have. Some well-intentioned people have urged me to “settle down.” Some folks seeking company in their misery have urged me to “settle down.” Some onlookers have told me I inspire them. However, nothing I do is for the acceptance or condemnation of others, but simply because I have to live on my terms. I could certainly make more money as I do so, and have started taking a greater interest in being more future-focused in terms of my personal economy. Yet, I don’t have too many complaints about this random and unpredictable lifestyle I’ve embraced. This journey has taught and exposed me to a lot. I’ve embraced a sort of freedom some don’t experience until retirement. The money that’s supposed to come along with retirement has often been missing thus far, but I’ve developed a pretty strong will against recklessly using my inner prostitute. You have a prostitute, too. It works a job you hate, but the money’s good or at least regular. It exchanges your energies with others in unfulfilling ways to serve some end, but would really rather not in a perfect world. It gives away your time, money, intellect, integrity, word, or self altogether for some form of physical, emotional, or social security. It may have led you down a path you truly seek to escape.

According to Caroline Myss, the prostitute is one of the four survival archetypes active in all of our lives. Its goal is to develop and protect our self-esteem and self-respect, but it’s easy to misunderstand the lessons we experience through this archetype. The prostitute archetype has taught me that it’s much better to take less money and be in line with my core beliefs—even if it’s a lot less money. It’s highly unlikely I’ll be endorsing a traditional diamond or gold retailer or become the poster child for a pharmaceutical or fast-food company. I’m unwilling to compromise my beliefs about the lack of integrity these systems represent. Just as unlikely is my submission to the appeals to normalcy in the shape of a “normal” job, a “normal” life, or “normal” choices. Normal simply means common. Common isn’t different. I embrace my difference, which can frequently exist outside the consideration of “normal”. Still, I don’t condemn normalcy. If it works for you, great, but I’ve found that it actually doesn’t work for a lot of folks. What I do, however, condemn is the pressure or criticism those embracing norms subject to those who don’t—most especially by those who have yet to analyze their compliance.

Undoubtedly, you’ve been in situations that have revealed your prostitute—its strength or weakness. The key is to make it work for you. It’s in all of us, but that’s not to say it works the same for all of us. Let yours serve your highest good. Let it support your dreams, security, self-esteem and self-respect. Let it teach you that there’s more to life than money and social acceptance. Find the good in its lessons—even the difficult ones—then begin or continue to live in synch with your values, passions, and purposes.

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To read more about what’s considered the four survival archetypes, read this synopsis from Caroline Myss’ Sacred Contracts.

Many of us grow up believing it’s necessary to hide or deny parts of ourselves for acceptance: for our self-acceptance and for everyone else’s. Clearly, this logic is flawed. Nothing is more important to acceptance, whether internal or external, than self-honesty about who you are and where you are. Maybe you’re vulnerable, scared, needy, insecure, lonely, unhappy, into “strange” things “no one else” is into, a “geek”…whatever. How can you ever truly connect with yourself or anyone else without honoring your truths? You can’t so it’s ridiculous to even try.

We are all works in progress. Continually becoming. The more we hide ourselves, the more we isolate ourselves–mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Who are you and where are you? No one deserves an answer to that question more than…you.

Image source

And that’s what What My World’s Like is all about. “Find the good. Be inspired.” Acceptance is the path to transcendence. We have to accept where we are in order to rise above our circumstances. This works the same way with thought patterns. It wasn’t until I accepted my cynicism that I was able to start finding the good. I’m happy that it’s finally a way of life for me now. Like everyone else, I have my moments, but I always rebound and find the good.

If you’re having difficulty with going back and forth between pessimism and optimism and starting to feel a bit schizophrenic, it’s okay! You’re creating new neural pathways and that process takes time. You’re forging a new path in the forest, so be persistent; it’s just a habit.

Jampolsky’s quote about the mind as creator, however consciously, connects back to the concept of the shadow I discussed briefly last week. What’s inside comes outside. In order to transcend the issues caused by the shadow or shadow projection, we have to accept the shadow. Suppressing it is what created it’s darkness and density in the first place. Once we accept the shadow and integrate it into our persona, we will feel a shift in the world — a shift in our worlds, individually. Change what’s inside and you will change what’s outside. Find the good…with a smile.

Sometimes we go in search of these grand cosmic connections, but it’s often the little things that connect us to each other. We forge relationships based on particles of commonalities: interests, personal and physical characteristics, perspectives, experiences, humor, etc.

Sharing is what truly bonds us. The irony, however, is that there is a often a sense of emotional or psychological isolation when we are more alike than not. Find a connector — a positive one. Frequently, folks build using negativity. Find the good.

There won’t always be some super deep, grand connection, but I’ve found that a string of little things can also create a strong bond.

Please consider the following: do you need to see the worst of yourself in order to be the best of yourself?

So much of our worlds are inherited. Often times, what we think about ourselves, about others, how we behave and cope with emotional stress, our expectations as it relates to career, love, and life in general, and so much more are all passed down to us from the people we interact with and from what we read or hear. Children are perfect little recorders of their environments. They pick up the vocabulary, the dialect, and all the subtleties of the human behavior surrounding them. Because of that, the emotional space a child grows up in plays a major role in how they experience and demonstrate their emotions throughout life.

My last relationship was my first adult relationship, and I went into it stumbling, wanting this love, yet very fearful. Much of the time we were together, instead of placing my trust in my partner and what we were building, I was afraid to really open myself up and let him in, let him know where I’d been and what I battled with. In being dishonest with myself, I was dishonest with him. I thought I knew how to love, but I didn’t. The reality was that I didn’t know how to love myself, so I didn’t know how to love him and I felt sort of inept the whole time we were together. Why couldn’t I open up? Why couldn’t I articulate my feelings? Why was I so afraid to be vulnerable and discuss my emotions? Why couldn’t I treat him the way he deserved to be treated?

One word: dysfunction. I was dysfunctional.

My journey has brought me back home for a little while and as uncomfortable as being here has been for me, I understand the importance of this return, especially as it relates to understanding my dysfunction. In true “there’s got to be something wrong with me” fashion, I initially owned it, as though I taught it to myself how to be dysfunctional. But I didn’t; like so many others in the world, I inherited it.

Why must we be the change we wish to see in the world? Because we don’t even recognize who all is watching and learning from us, and we don’t know exactly what they’re learning. I inherited my parents’ emotional limitations. Keeping everything bottled in was a norm. So were explosive reactions, yelling, not communicating at all, making a scene of being upset yet unwilling to discuss why, being hurtful because we were hurt. It was a mess. And only now as I unfurl all this emotional junk do I understand how I can never have a healthy relationship with these behavioral patterns.

We’ve all heard that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Unfortunately, for some reason, many people believe they’re like dogs and that their personalities, after a certain point, become static. That is only true for the person who accepts it as true. In reality, we always have the power to change. Growing pains seem to keep so many stagnant, despite the rewards being worth the challenges several times over.

Continuous self-analysis is a permanent part of growth. Whatever doesn’t grow is dead. Open yourself up to more life by constantly analyzing yourself and seeing where you can grow and improve weaknesses. The way you love will be how you teach your children to love. The way you love yourself is the way you will love others. The solution to almost everything in the world is more self-love. The more you love yourself, the deeper your capacity to honestly love others. The more love others feel, the more they learn how to return it and do; it’s cyclical. Let’s be conscious to pass on love, not dysfunction.

• Even if you don’t eat at a fast food restaurant, you’re still eating food made for/within that system. [If you haven't already, read Fast Food Nation.]
• “Chickens never see sunlight. They’re pretty much in the dark all the time.”
• “This isn’t farming, this is just mass production.”
• “It doesn’t matter if the chickens get sick, all of the chickens will be sent for processing.”
• Learn about the industrial food system.
• 30% of the land in the US is used to produce corn.
• Farm-raised fish is eating corn.
• Average American eats over 200 lbs. of meat a year. Ugh. Do you know how long it takes for meat to leave your body??
• Reminder: there’s manure in your meat! Bon appetit!

• “We put faith in our government to protect us and we’re not being protected on a basic level.” <— this government protects highest bidders: the massively rich, corporations, and industries
• Consumer safety tip: FDA doesn’t protect consumers and was never designed to do so. Former FDA Commissioner Herbert Lay was quoted in the San Francisco Chronicle of January 2, 1970 as saying, “The thing that bugs me is that people think the FDA is protecting them. It isn’t. What the FDA is doing and what the public thinks it’s doing are as different as night and day.”
• If cattle is taken off corn diet and put on [natural] grass diet, they shed 80% of e. coli in their stomachs.
• Hamburger meat filler treated with AMMONIA to kill the e. coli in the beef…in 20% of the market. Bon Appetit! [They project 100% in 5 years.]
• #foodinc is reminding me of why I became a macrobiotic practitioner and eventually a vegan.
• “Faster, fatter, bigger, cheaper!” is the motto of food industry.
• Being an adult who regularly eats fast food is like becoming a new cigarette smoker: way too much information out there to not know you’re asking for trouble. [But I'm assuming you care about your quality of life.]
• If you eat fast food because you don’t have time to cook: try slow cooking. Crock pots are AMAZING!
• I sincerely believe food/diet is responsible for [or a major contributor to] 95% of all health problems.
• Our current economic system KILLS souls. People doing menial, spirit-killing jobs for a wage. Shame.
• I was urged by @andrea_zak to read Kessler’s The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite to find out what happens to factory farmed meat and industrial veggies.
• Someone noted that it costs more to eat well than to eat poorly. Upfront, yes.
• Environmental, health, and social costs for “cheap” food are NOT cheap.
• No to US soy…90% of it’s Roundup Ready: can’t be killed by pesticide. [Roundup Ready products are "herbicide tolerant". To learn more about the effects of Roundup Ready products, check out Roundup Ready Nation: Dying for Profits.]
• Live by your principles. The law is not values-based, thus often lawfully unlawful. The prohibition of marijuana is proof of this. [Note: I am not promoting the use of marijuana, but I am in support of its legalization, especially alongside the legalization of alcohol and cigarettes, which kill an insanely large number of people annually.]
• Become a vegetarian, build an earthship and grow your own food. [Earthships are completely self-sustainable housing. Friggin awesome.]
• Genetically modified foods aren’t labeled. Meat from cloned animals isn’t either. Cheers!
• 70% of supermarket products contains some genetically modified ingredient.
• You can go to prison for criticizing beef in Colorado?!? What the…? [Yes, thanks to the veggie libel law, you can be sued by food producers for libel in thirteen states: Alabama, Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Texas.]
• Some solutions are to support local food. Farmer’s markets. Communnity supported agriculture (CSAs). Plant a garden.
• (y)our diet can change the planet. and your life. see?

Perfection is illusory, yet I strive to manifest it in the most possible way by simply being better. Sometimes, I fail. Sometimes, I succeed. Some lessons take a while to truly get and some changes take longer to implement than desired. Everything in its course as everything happens in its own time. Knowing that, however, shouldn’t negate exercising effort.

Just today, I told my cousin how I feel like a late bloomer in some ways. She said, “I don’t think you’re a late bloomer, you just have your own lessons to learn and you will. Be patient with yourself, you’ll get it in God’s time.”

I’m not who I was and at some point, I won’t be who I am now. The term “growing pains” is appropriate for so many phases in life, if not the sum of it. Growth–change–can hurt. Does hurt. But taking refuge in stagnation is no remedy.

You are a process, always becoming who you will be.  People will try to confine you to who you were or who they’d like you to be, but “I” is beyond definition because ”I” is not static.  You are transforming regularly.  You change your ideas, modify your behavior, set different goals and declare new resolutions.  Who you have been and who you are now is not who you will be.  Evolve.  You are a process.  So is everybody else.  Remember that.

Image source: Teddy

Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland entertained me last night, in addition to providing a little inspiration. As Alice fights her fate in Wonderland, Mad Hatter tells her, “You were much more muchier. You’ve lost your muchness.”

Today’s question is “have you lost your muchness?” If the answer is yes, the follow-up question is “what can you do to reclaim it?” If the answer is no, the follow-up is “Yay! Great for you,” and “what’s next?”

Once upon a time, I definitely lost my muchness. It seems to come and go. Right now, though, it’s here and I’m holding on to it with all my might. Last week, I committed myself to a project I’ve been delaying for four years. (Lost my muchness.) I began toiling towards completing that commitment the other night, and in doing so, I reclaimed my muchness. I stared at a blank screen for hours, wondering what to write. Then it hit me. Hard. Today, I reached a milestone. Seemingly small yet monumental in a peculiar way because of what it represents, not necessarily what it is.

Your life is yours. It’s full of purpose, but you’ll never fully engage said purpose without your muchness. There is no diverging from the path because you make the path. You could be doing more. You could be being more. When are you going to start?

Image source: Aeromental

Looking at the level of peace the world, might it be safe to say there is no order in the nation because there is no harmony in the house…because there is no beauty in the people? Shine your light! Don’t be afraid to be who you are. Who you really and turly are.

General provisions:

A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;

B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;

It is hereby decreed that:

Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.

Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.

Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.

Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.

Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.

Final determination:
Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.

And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t.

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Ladies and gentlemen, you have just witnessed the genius of Brazilian writer extraordinairePaulo Coelho, who has sold more than 100 million books worldwide, including his infamous The Alchemist. He is also quite a joy to follow on Twitter, as @PauloCoelho.

Source: Paulo Coelho’s blog
Image source: Enlighten Your Day