What My World's Like

(in)congruent

Oct
25

Are you who you say you are? Are you who you think you are, or who you want to be? I often like to explore the concept and believe that I am, but in reality, I’m not. In me is the range of humanity—kind, selfish, strong, weak, committed, capricious, confident, insecure, humble, arrogant, beautiful and ugly. I’m extreme, contradictory, complex. Oftentimes, I think, too extreme, too contradictory, too complex. These layers have made it difficult for me to consistently see myself honestly and positively. There are so many contradictions that even I’m sometimes left wondering who am I?

On things that don’t necessarily matter, it’s easy for me to toss an opinion around, whether it’s requested or not. However, on issues that deeply affect me, usually silence is my standard. Makes no sense. Am I outspoken or reserved?

My journey has taught me that I’m nicest to those I don’t know and more hurtful to those I care the most about. Am I kind or am I mean?

I can speak about my life, who I am—or think I am—and what I’ve learned easiest with strangers than people I’m emotionally invested in.

Why does this incongruency exist? Will the awareness of its presence create more congruency or will it persist regardless?

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Your inner world rules your outer world

Sep
04

Life is calling you. All the time. Do this. Do that. Don’t do anything at all. There’s always a fork in the road. Sometimes you don’t even know it’s there, but it is. Sometimes you hear it, see it, feel it…this urge…this moment that comes to visit briefly. It may whisper, it may shout, but it’s always saying something. Are you listening?

The perpetual, invisible fork is the following question: how are you going to respond? To what? To everything.

We allow the outer world to control our inner world because we don’t understand that the more we control our inner world, the more we control the outer world.  It often acts the other way around, but we’re so much more effective in our lives when we understand this.  The past few weeks have proven this to be true.

Out of nowhere, my job suddenly became a place I slightly dreaded. I wasn’t even fully aware of it, but I noticed it when I realized time was my obsession. “What time is it?” and “how much longer will I be here?” Sure signs of danger. Everyone and everything was a problem and I played the victim to all the haphazard incidents and wrongdoings.

When somebody/everybody else is always the problem, maybe the problem is really you.

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namaste.

May
01

you may journey in fear,
but if you instead choose faith,
you’ll emerge more whole,
finding greater strength and a greater confidence.

be courageous.

love&light...leandra

Exploration

Apr
17


For the past few weeks, I’ve been sitting back, watching and analyzing: myself, people, life. I’ve gained some insight and direction in the process. I spent some time walking around the city and in the burbs along Fox River thinking and seeing. Soon, but not quite yet, I’ll be ready to share more of those insights; I’m still processing. I encourage everyone to change scenery at some point for a bit–alone. Embrace your be-ing. Dissect your patterns. Explore your growth, or the lack thereof. Oh, and do something that just simply makes you happy.

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A little bit of random: recent epiphanies/reminders

Mar
30
  • The dictionary will, unfortunately, never fully capture all the language we use. 
  • E. Badu’s video reminds me not to self-censor.
  • Additionally, allow others to be themselves.
  • Exchange energy with others intentionally.  Always go for the thank you, you’re welcome.
  • Trust yourself. If you don’t, start. If you do, keep on.
  • Just being in Whole Foods makes me happy. Celebrate the little things in life.
  • We all want what’s rare, so why do you appreciate common beauty more than uncommon beauty?
  • Note: stop comparing your uncommon beauty.
  • The internet and all of its social networks are microcosms of a microcosm. Don’t take it or yourself so seriously. It’s not real. Share space, air, and eye contact.
  • Live in love&light.

Aha! moment

Mar
03

“I love my body.”

Feb
08

silhouette in ocean by jonathan charles

In a country where at least 67% of the population is overweight or obese, body dissatisfaction is extremely common and indeed fuels the $50 billion weight-loss industry. Additionally, since eating disorders and body dissatisfaction are no longer only associated with women, it’s not often we hear, or maybe even say, the phrase “I love my body.”

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The break down

Feb
03

There is a common social paradox that often escapes discussion, so let’s bring it up. It’s called self-absorbed and self-unaware. You don’t need to search high and low to locate it; more than likely you know some folks who live in this paradox. Maybe it doesn’t apply to you, but it definitely used to apply to me. Know who you are, how you are, and why you are the way you are. There’s little point in being self-absorbed and unknowlegeable about those things.

Be mindful.

Running away

Dec
14

running away


I was raised in a city I hated. When exactly it occurred to me that I didn’t like it, I’m not sure. Perhaps my mother’s feelings rubbed off on my sister and me, but for as long as I can recall, I wanted to be elsewhere. Where? Just somewhere else.

I’ve spent the last few months of my life, not elsewhere, but in my hometown, precisely where I didn’t want to be–not for this long anyway. While it takes just a short matter of days to be reminded of all the reasons that prompted me to leave, my family is here and spending an extended amount of time with them after being away for eight years is warming. Both positive and negative emotions have confronted me and I’ve been somewhat conflicted as to what my next move should be: Stay? Go? Where? For how long? The vision for my immediate future is fuzzy; I haven’t been able to place myself anywhere. In the past, this indicated moving somewhere new.

This morning, South Korea invaded my mind. Teaching English there is an idea that’s visited me countless times over the past five years. Maybe I should just do it, I thought. Do it, so I won’t have any regrets. A longstanding desire to travel the planet resurfaced and immediately I was taken by this idea of journeying foreign lands. Would it take me closer to what I want to be my life’s work? Hmm…no. Not really. But I would get to live in another country and see some of Asia. My haphazard life adventures have always taken me places…but what if this time, I’m not supposed to go anywhere?

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The end of complaining

Aug
14

complaint-free-world1

A Complaint Free World issues a 21-day challenge to halt all complaining.  Author Valerie Frankel responded to the challenge by enlisting her family.  She even offered her daughters $100 at the beginning of the week.  Each complaint they made during the week cost them $1.  Whatever remained at the end of the week was theirs to keep.  Here she documents their first six days on the challenge, including her insights and observations.

It’s pretty interesting.  Since last week’s revelation, I’ve been working on nixing complaints.  Frankel considers it to be a viable and perfectly acceptable form of communication and ultimately found herself limiting her own expressiveness by not complaining.  While I do believe it’s important to express the full range of one’s emotions, it’s not what you do, but how you do it.  There’s a difference between pointing something out and harping on it.  We can express dissatisfaction without being consumed by the act of doing so. 

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