What My World's Like

ending the war: “i love you still.”

Mar
24

Recently, I asked “do you talk about things that matter?” and today I experienced one of the most emotionally honest conversations I’ve ever had. Topics ranged from absentee fathers, sex, eating disorders, rape, molestation, relationships, education, socialization, etc. It was genuine, cathartic, comforting, inspiring and beautiful. So many times throughout the evening, I found myself smiling, feeling connected and understood as we discussed highly privatized events and feelings.

Sitting with this beautiful woman who spoke so candidly about her life, I felt inspired and reinvigorated, reminded that neither our stories nor our struggles are our own. We will all experience trials, intense pain, and loss. We will all walk with fears, insecurities, and moments of doubt. We will all struggle with some degree of feeling fragmented. These are inextricable parts of the human experience, but if you let pain harden your heart instead of soften it, you’ve missed the point.

As of two days ago, I made an important decision based upon a startling revelation. I’m ending the war with myself.

My #notetoself yesterday was:

“stop waging war with the one person who will always be there for you: yourself.
love is accepting, patient, and kind.”

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going for the gold? find it in the shadow.

Mar
10

Before I even understood it as a psychological concept, I’ve been intrigued by shadows. As a child, I’d always look at them. Even as an adult, I’ve continued to find their value and entertainment.

Although I began to understand the importance of unearthing my self and my truth two years ago, my interest didn’t consciously shift from something part of the external world to part of the internal world until last year when I asked myself, “do you need to see the worst of yourself in order to be the best of yourself?”

That question prompted an interest in the shadow that I’m now ready to explore. It’s scary. It’s exciting. An intuitive feeling informs me that this is a special time in my life.

Carl Jung said, “People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to stop from facing their souls.” I believe it. It’s taken me almost a year to begin the journey and I can only strongly intend to maintain course, no matter how uncomfortable it gets.

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