What My World's Like

going for the gold? find it in the shadow.

Mar
10

Before I even understood it as a psychological concept, I’ve been intrigued by shadows. As a child, I’d always look at them. Even as an adult, I’ve continued to find their value and entertainment.

Although I began to understand the importance of unearthing my self and my truth two years ago, my interest didn’t consciously shift from something part of the external world to part of the internal world until last year when I asked myself, “do you need to see the worst of yourself in order to be the best of yourself?”

That question prompted an interest in the shadow that I’m now ready to explore. It’s scary. It’s exciting. An intuitive feeling informs me that this is a special time in my life.

Carl Jung said, “People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to stop from facing their souls.” I believe it. It’s taken me almost a year to begin the journey and I can only strongly intend to maintain course, no matter how uncomfortable it gets.

(more…)

(in)congruent

Oct
25

Are you who you say you are? Are you who you think you are, or who you want to be? I often like to explore the concept and believe that I am, but in reality, I’m not. In me is the range of humanity—kind, selfish, strong, weak, committed, capricious, confident, insecure, humble, arrogant, beautiful and ugly. I’m extreme, contradictory, complex. Oftentimes, I think, too extreme, too contradictory, too complex. These layers have made it difficult for me to consistently see myself honestly and positively. There are so many contradictions that even I’m sometimes left wondering who am I?

On things that don’t necessarily matter, it’s easy for me to toss an opinion around, whether it’s requested or not. However, on issues that deeply affect me, usually silence is my standard. Makes no sense. Am I outspoken or reserved?

My journey has taught me that I’m nicest to those I don’t know and more hurtful to those I care the most about. Am I kind or am I mean?

I can speak about my life, who I am—or think I am—and what I’ve learned easiest with strangers than people I’m emotionally invested in.

Why does this incongruency exist? Will the awareness of its presence create more congruency or will it persist regardless?

(more…)