#notetoself: drop your anger.

August 8, 2011 | filed under #notetoself, consider this, monday motivation, pay attention, thoughts | Leave a Comment 

Anger is crippling when used improperly. We often act — react — to it without knowing the feeling that’s motivating action. Anger is a motivative force and when you feel it, you should always monitor your emotions. How do you feel? Angry? Hurt? Sad? Disappointed? Betrayed? Frustrated? Impatient? To what degree?

Intense feelings can lead to anger, a secondary emotion. By secondary emotion, I mean you feel something else before you actually feel anger. Tune in on that emotion. Feel that. What need do you have that isn’t being met, or is being violated? Safety? Honesty? Affection? Respect? Attention?

Use your anger as emotional feedback, as a barometer indicating when you’re in the red. When you know the underlying feelings and missing needs in play, you can work more effectively towards resolving the situation peacefully and heathily.

There’s a fire, an urgency to being angry. Let it work for you, not against you. Understand it to use it.



Is your love love?

April 27, 2010 | filed under consider this, pay attention | 5 Comments 

black-couple-arguing

So much of our worlds are inherited. Often times, what we think about ourselves, about others, how we behave and cope with emotional stress, our expectations as it relates to career, love, and life in general, and so much more are all passed down to us from the people we interact with and from what we read or hear. Children are perfect little recorders of their environments. They pick up the vocabulary, the dialect, and all the subtleties of the human behavior surrounding them. Because of that, the emotional space a child grows up in plays a major role in how they experience and demonstrate their emotions throughout life.

My last relationship was my first adult relationship, and I went into it stumbling, wanting this love, yet very fearful. Much of the time we were together, instead of placing my trust in my partner and what we were building, I was afraid to really open myself up and let him in, let him know where I’d been and what I battled with. In being dishonest with myself, I was dishonest with him. I thought I knew how to love, but I didn’t. The reality was that I didn’t know how to love myself, so I didn’t know how to love him and I felt sort of inept the whole time we were together. Why couldn’t I open up? Why couldn’t I articulate my feelings? Why was I so afraid to be vulnerable and discuss my emotions? Why couldn’t I treat him the way he deserved to be treated?

One word: dysfunction. I was dysfunctional.

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Great words…

January 28, 2010 | filed under consider this, rewritable words | Leave a Comment 

Everything begins and ends with our own individual behavior.

When we are honest with our emotions, however dark they may be,
we invite others to be real and to face their own pain.
And then real transformation can occur – that’s how we are going to fix this planet.

But when we suppress, when we are fake, we send a message out to others
that they need to be fake too and hold in their truth.
This is how things will remain the same.

Today, be real. You don’t need to be anyone else but who you are.
Being honest helps the rest of us find our truth.

– Yehuda Berg



New neural pathways = new ways of experiencing life?

January 23, 2010 | filed under consider this, do your research!, health, inspiring, moment of truth, pay attention, plain cool, watch this | 1 Comment 

The concept of neuroplasticity was introduced to me a few years ago while watching What the Bleep Do We Know!? and has been popping up in my world recently. It’s quite fascinating and explains why change can be difficult, but very possible. Understand your biology and be inspired.

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