What My World's Like

what my world sounds like: “limit to your love”

Aug
16

this guy’s voice. it just touches me. the simplicity of the song is quite refreshing and heightens sonic engagement. maybe you’ll enjoy it like i do.

James Blake – Limit To Your Love from James Blake on Vimeo.

i have to thank the amazing penelope for introducing me to him. this year has been pretty extraordinary thanks to travel. it hasn’t always been fun, easy, or happy, but it has been amazing. i’ve crossed paths with some really wonderful people who have enriched me and my growth process and i’m just feeling really grateful for that. music is a great connector. she mentioned being “kind of obsessed” with his music and it’s so different for me right now, i gather the same might happen to me too. that’s cool.

near end of the year assessment: what’s so different?

Nov
02

I’m shocked that it’s November 2nd. Only because it feels like so much of the year happened in a blur. Where did the time go? What happened? What changed? I’m in a new city, new apartment, new job (not so “new” really). I’ve had some great— and startling—discoveries about myself and now I have some newfound sense of confidence and direction that wasn’t there a year ago. Still, I don’t think there’s enough difference. More than anything, I find myself aggravated by my own inertia. A bunch of shoulds come to mind.

I should be this
I should be here
I should have this done
I should…

Then I’m reminded that the past is the past. Done. Over. Finito. I can only focus on forward movement to ensure future progress. However, it would probably be beneficial to reflect and see what roadblocks prevented me making the growth I apparently expected of myself, yet didn’t hold myself accountable for.

Are you where you planned to be now? Have you made the progress you anticipated? What will you do to get on track (your track)?

dreams + friends = success? well…

Nov
01

It’s important to have aspirations in life. Goals that stretch you to do more, be more, have more provide you with both challenges and opportunities. The challenges make you stronger and smarter and amongst the many opportunities that pop up, most important are the opportunities to manifest your dreams and to discover more about yourself in the process.

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Is your love love?

Apr
27

black-couple-arguing

So much of our worlds are inherited. Often times, what we think about ourselves, about others, how we behave and cope with emotional stress, our expectations as it relates to career, love, and life in general, and so much more are all passed down to us from the people we interact with and from what we read or hear. Children are perfect little recorders of their environments. They pick up the vocabulary, the dialect, and all the subtleties of the human behavior surrounding them. Because of that, the emotional space a child grows up in plays a major role in how they experience and demonstrate their emotions throughout life.

My last relationship was my first adult relationship, and I went into it stumbling, wanting this love, yet very fearful. Much of the time we were together, instead of placing my trust in my partner and what we were building, I was afraid to really open myself up and let him in, let him know where I’d been and what I battled with. In being dishonest with myself, I was dishonest with him. I thought I knew how to love, but I didn’t. The reality was that I didn’t know how to love myself, so I didn’t know how to love him and I felt sort of inept the whole time we were together. Why couldn’t I open up? Why couldn’t I articulate my feelings? Why was I so afraid to be vulnerable and discuss my emotions? Why couldn’t I treat him the way he deserved to be treated?

One word: dysfunction. I was dysfunctional.

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We are a process.

Apr
20

when are you going to change?


I am a process. You are a process. We are a process. Each of us is perpetually ‘becoming’. There is no [natural] end. What doesn’t grow is dead.

Perfection is illusory, yet I strive to manifest it in the most possible way by simply being better. Sometimes, I fail. Sometimes, I succeed. Some lessons take a while to truly get and some changes take longer to implement than desired. Everything in its course as everything happens in its own time. Knowing that, however, shouldn’t negate exercising effort.

Just today, I told my cousin how I feel like a late bloomer in some ways. She said, “I don’t think you’re a late bloomer, you just have your own lessons to learn and you will. Be patient with yourself, you’ll get it in God’s time.”

I’m not who I was and at some point, I won’t be who I am now. The term “growing pains” is appropriate for so many phases in life, if not the sum of it. Growth–change–can hurt. Does hurt. But taking refuge in stagnation is no remedy.

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Exploration

Apr
17


For the past few weeks, I’ve been sitting back, watching and analyzing: myself, people, life. I’ve gained some insight and direction in the process. I spent some time walking around the city and in the burbs along Fox River thinking and seeing. Soon, but not quite yet, I’ll be ready to share more of those insights; I’m still processing. I encourage everyone to change scenery at some point for a bit–alone. Embrace your be-ing. Dissect your patterns. Explore your growth, or the lack thereof. Oh, and do something that just simply makes you happy.

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What My World Sounds Like: “Can’t Tell Me Nothing”

Jun
02

Kanye West

People love to hate Kanye.  I get it.  He’s not for everyone.  Then, again, no one is.  Regardless of one’s personal feelings towards the man, I think there are some incredibly valuable things we can learn from him.  I’ve said it before, but he’s an excellent testament to what’s possible when you believe in yourself and relentlessly go after what you want, all while working to constantly grow and improve.  He was saying he was the best before it was really possible to understand why he thought so, yet steadily improved. So…now you can’t tell him anything.

If you need a little self pep talk, count him among your musical pals.

Kanye West – “Can’t Tell Me Nothing”
[audio:http://www.whatmyworldslike.com/audio/ctmn.mp3]

“To whom much is given, much is tested.”

“This is my life, homie. You decide yours.”

“You can live through anything if Magic made it.”

Be with the storms

May
19

storm_clouds_over_swifts_creek

How to free yourself from the grip of storms? This is the only basic problem in this universe. The first thing is to become aware of it and stop regretting it. Like waves come and go, storms in your life too will subside. No one storm can be there for ever. One storm comes and subsides, another comes and subsides and it goes on. As the storm subsides, you experience that inner cool, soft, delicate aspect of yourself. In that space of calm, all the anxiety, fear, feverishness lose their grip on you and you become yourself again. Love dawns.

When you stop resisting the storms of life and start accepting them with open arms, they will subside on their own. That is the purpose of all spiritual practices, or sadhana, and meditation. When you realise that somebody really cares for you, you feel at rest and all fears and insecurities drop off.

You keep running away from small things — your feelings, sensations, desires — and this leads to more feverishness. Realize that like the ocean cannot be there without the waves, storms are inevitable in your life. Every storm touches you somewhere and makes you grow stronger. A storm pulls you out of your likes and dislikes and purifies you. So accept all that comes with both arms open. […] Even when the storms come, you are still the same ocean, as deep as ever.

This realization is the culmination of knowledge. When this knowledge dawns, you rise above events; you grow out of them. Everybody in the world goes through crises, insecurities, confusions. It’s like drowning in the ocean of life. But the person with the life jacket can survive even the worst turmoil. So keep your life jacket of knowledge handy.

[…] Do not be in a hurry to get rid of the storms, be with them. Looking for perfection creates imperfection inside you. If you are peaceful, everything around you becomes peaceful. You are the center of this universe. Wherever you go, you carry your own mind, and wherever you go, you will create your own storms. It may appear to be calm and quiet for sometime but the storm will surface sooner or later. Unless you realize this, nothing will hold. There is no other permanent solution. Don’t resist the storms, instead see them as an amazing play of your personality.

–Sri Sri Ravishankar

Source: iJourney.org