What My World's Like

you ever tell yourself to shut up?

Oct
13

A few months ago, I met these awesome twin pastors and in a sermon, one of them said he tried to only say what was necessary one day and found himself having to be very quiet. It made me think about how much we say. How many words and ideas and opinions come out of our mouths. How much of it is necessary or even relevant? How much of it reflects the type of person we want to be?

In analyzing myself, I’ve noticed how much I give my opinion. Without request. “There it is, I’ll give it to you.” While I appreciate the boldness, albeit blind, and openness of it, I’m just one person of nearly seven billion. I certainly don’t want to know everyone’s opinion on everything because…I don’t care. And, in most cases, unless someone asks me, they don’t care about mine.

Hmmm.

I need to humble myself. In fact, I’m about to. I’m going to see what happens when I focus on only saying what’s necessary. If it doesn’t improve upon silence, must it be said?

Enter the silence.

(in)congruent

Oct
25

Are you who you say you are? Are you who you think you are, or who you want to be? I often like to explore the concept and believe that I am, but in reality, I’m not. In me is the range of humanity—kind, selfish, strong, weak, committed, capricious, confident, insecure, humble, arrogant, beautiful and ugly. I’m extreme, contradictory, complex. Oftentimes, I think, too extreme, too contradictory, too complex. These layers have made it difficult for me to consistently see myself honestly and positively. There are so many contradictions that even I’m sometimes left wondering who am I?

On things that don’t necessarily matter, it’s easy for me to toss an opinion around, whether it’s requested or not. However, on issues that deeply affect me, usually silence is my standard. Makes no sense. Am I outspoken or reserved?

My journey has taught me that I’m nicest to those I don’t know and more hurtful to those I care the most about. Am I kind or am I mean?

I can speak about my life, who I am—or think I am—and what I’ve learned easiest with strangers than people I’m emotionally invested in.

Why does this incongruency exist? Will the awareness of its presence create more congruency or will it persist regardless?

(more…)