What My World's Like

learning to love curly hair

Feb
02

A long-time friend of mine, Nikki Walton of CurlyNikki has finally released her long-awaited treatise on curly and kinky coils with Better Than Good Hair. For the past five years, she’s been sharing her knowledge and building a community for those embracing the path of self-love by accepting their hair as it is and learning how to work with it as opposed to against it. Better Than Good Hair is best suited for those new or relatively new to the world of natural hair care, but also serves as a handy reference guide for those like me, who have been natural for a while but never fully went down the rabbit’s hole and could use a refresher every now and then.

I’m pretty psyched to be connected to the project, as a short essay of mine is featured. (I’m published!) My favorite thing about Nikki and her movement is how genuine and bright she is and how passionate she is about positively impacting people’s mental and emotional health as it relates to hair. She is, after all, a certified therapist.

If you know anyone who could use a more information about naturally curly hair, Better Than Good Hair is a handy reference, and especially helpful to sift through all the online information. Get your copy today.

the beauty of bald.

Jul
20

Approximately six years ago, I relaxed my hair for the last time. It was the day before my graduation and wearing my hair natural had been on my mind for several months, as I could no longer justify putting a dangerous chemical directly on my head to straighten my hair for aesthetic purposes while actively seeking to eat organic foods; it was a silly contradiction and I immediately understood it as such.

Almost a year later, I cut off the relaxed ends and wound up wearing a teeny weeny afro that I initially hated. Nothing was wrong with it per se, I just thought my curls would be looser, bigger, more flowing. I wanted my hair to be longer than it was. There were times I’d look in the mirror and cry: what had I done? Why did I do this? Yet, there was such a strong knowing that I was at the point of no return; my last relaxer was the last relaxer. “I’m undergoing a paradigm shift,” I’d tell myself when I needed comforting.

When you begin to wear your hair the way it grows out of your head after years of manipulating it to specifically do otherwise, you’re suddenly confronted with your ideas about beauty in general, your individual beauty, and your people’s beauty.

Many women consider it to be a quasi spiritual experience, and, honestly, that’s no exaggeration. It’s a reawakening. To yourself. To your beauty. To your ancestry. To healthy self-esteem.

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raffles, energy, clarity, and consistency.

May
23

Lorra Jackson original painting
The grand prize: a painting (painted that day) by Lorra Jackson

A good example of an awesome day:

Meeting a friend for brunch and eating delicious raw lasagna. Going to a curly hair event and being surrounded by beautiful, stylish, friendly women who obviously know something about sisterhood. Feeling like you look a mess, but getting lots of compliments. Buying a raffle ticket to support Petals-N-Belles, an organization whose mission to support young women is of notable importance to me. Buying an awesome vintage purse for $10 and an African-printed bangle that makes my heart melt. Collecting a gaggle of free hair products. Building with amazing people. Winning the grand prize of said raffle.

The last time I won a raffle was when I was a kid. It was an Oliver & Company sleeping bag that my grandmother probably still has somewhere. To this day, just the mention of that movie makes me smile.

The funny thing is I wanted to win something. A tee shirt. A bag full of goodies. Something. Kind of, but not really, I was “supposed” to win something. Interestingly, right after I bought my 3 raffle tickets, my friend, Luna also bought 3 tickets. She left the event early and planned to give me her raffle tickets since she wouldn’t be there for the announcement. The grand prize was a painting that artist Lorra Jackson painted at the event. The second prize was a Huetiful Hair Steamer that I definitely wouldn’t have minded winning. The other prizes were gift baskets with assorted hair and beauty products.

My numbers were: 307975, 307976, and 307977. The winning number for the hair steamer was 307978. Whose ticket was that? It belonged to the absent Luna, or if I’d remember to get them from her, me. But I didn’t remember. So they picked another number and some other lucky woman took it home. I was genuinely happy for her, but a bit salty for me. Then, they called the number for the painting. 307976. Shock came to my face as I said, “that’s me.” I didn’t even have the tickets in my hand at this point, figuring some other number would be called–one that wasn’t mine. To my own benefit, I was wrong.

If a simple, nonspecific intention to win “something” can result in me leaving with the coveted grand prize, I need to be more aware of my intentions and energies and what I’m manifesting in my life. There’s been a general feeling of dissatisfaction looming over me recently. While appreciative for what I have, I need more of what works for me in my life and I know that the only thing in the way is me. I posit that, similarly, the most major obstacle in your way is you. Let’s get out of our own way. Let’s reflect to get clear on what we want and take consistent action to making that vision real. That’s definitely what I’m about to do. Please join me.