I’ve been trudging along full of regret, harping over the past. Just this moment–and I knew this before–I realized, that the past is the past. You can never “redo” anything. You can never undo anything. It is what it is. Que sera sera. All you can do…is move forward. Begin again. Start anew.
So tomorrow, I’ll wake up and it’ll be a brand new day. A brand new start. And all I can do, all I will do, is my best.
For a minute, I think I stopped growing. I stopped looking at the everyday lessons. The beauty in life has escaped me for quite some time, except in random moments, when my eyes would catch the glimmer of something great. But life isn’t about the great moments. Those are nice, but really, life is full of the ordinary. The mundane and the trite. Great moments are extraordinary, but they don’t come all that often. And even if they did, they, too, would be a part of the mundane eventually.
I think I need to start examining what I’ve learned everyday or at least what I’m learning at a specific block in time…to the best that I can identify it anyway.
I guess I’ll start with today. What was great about today? Great? Err…? Okay, what did I learn today? Well, the above. There are people who have far less and they enjoy their lives far more. What am I missing? Maybe it’s sheer gratitude. My bills are paid (relatively). I’m young (relatively). I have my health (relatively). I heard some GREAT music this weekend!
The other day, I was at the gym. The treadmills face the wall, on which hang two TVs that are always set to MtvU. Sometimes I pay attention to the videos, but most of the time, I stare ahead at a spot on the wall and just imagine myself walking towards something. Random, I know. But on comes this video and I catch the beginning where they show the name of the artist and it turns out that I know the guy. He’s a rapper…? And he’s not even good. And he’s on TV. What am I doing???
Now is the time.
“If not you, then who? If not now, then when?”
– Phillip Vera Cruz