What My World's Like

on openness.

Jan
05


I have an admission.

The recent absence of my online presence isn’t exclusively related to being busy or mentally preoccupied. That’s part of it. Another part of it, actually, the biggest part of it, is the recurring struggle I’ve had with allowing myself to be open. I’m set on finding the balance between protecting myself and my life and being an open book. I’d like to share myself in a thoughtful, meaningful way, not recklessly over-share.

Posing this dilemma to a friend, he said, “But the work you do requires you to be honest. All creatives have to be.” It hit me, as it occasionally does at times before disappearing again, that there is something to this process, to this learning and sharing of mine. It isn’t haphazard or reckless; it’s necessary — for me and for whomever my words touch. I forget that my brand of creativity is more specific to how I think and applying understanding to grow. The art that resonates the most is that which is the most honest. My work will only resonate with others when I’m brave enough to open up and share my journey.

So, there it is. I struggle with being open. I struggle with maintaining clarity about my path. But I get it back. I’m here for a purpose and I unfailingly believe in purpose.

I’ll stop being scared. I’ll open up a bit. A few months back, I had a moment, ripe with reminders for myself. Epiphanies flooded me, and as they cascaded, I wrote them on my mirror. The picture above captured the result of that moment. It became a #notetoself I was happy to immortalize.

communicate.
be honest with yourself about who you are,
what you need, what you feel, what you think, what you see.
honor yourself. honor your truth. honor your perspective.
honor who you are. honor who you’ve been. honor who you’re becoming.

life’s lessons

Feb
24
  • Be an active student of your self and your life.
    Who are you? How are you…? Why are you…?
    Life is a mirror and we are constantly being revealed to ourselves. Are we paying attention? Taking time to get quiet and distill my own energy from everyone else’s is a vital part of this process.
  • Love is freedom, not possession.
    Love the being of a person, not the having of a person. Possession is an ever-enduring illusion.
  • Choose your response.
    We are free to choose how we are going to behave and what energy we are going to bring in every moment. As much as possible, I want to choose my response deliberately. Knee-jerk reactions are an unskillful way to maneuver through life. I want to be who I want to be independent of how/who others choose to be. My mantra is “amidst it all, be love.”
  • Thank your way through it.
    There’s value even in the valley.  Everything isn’t what it seems. When we look back on our lives later, even if it doesn’t seem so now, we’ll find this amazing architecture we could’ve never dreamed of. The key, I’m learning, is to be grateful for it all. Create the meaning along the way.
  • Kindness begets kindness.
    Karma is real. Keep doing you and watch the return. I dropped $4 during a trip to the store. All I had on me was that $4 specifically to purchase some food for work. It fell out of my pocket and someone stopped me to return it. Small, yes, but still huge. 🙂 As Will Smith said, “Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.”
  • You are a gift.
    You are here on purpose. Your love is a gift. Your forgiveness is a gift. Even your gifts are your gifts.

What are you learning? If you’re on Twitter use the #whatmyworldslike hashtag and let’s start talking!

How to use your* prostitute. (*yes, you have one regardless of your sex)

Jun
01

prostitute

I’m different. I’ve always been different, always felt different, but didn’t always have peace with it. Sometimes I fought it, bumped heads with others because of it, and even embraced it. It’s a sordid past I share with it. As I matured, though, I began to appreciate the fact that I was different. I eventually found it odd that most of us spend so much of our youth trying to fit in before usually spending the rest of our lives trying to distinguish ourselves. After all, aren’t we all different?

My official occupation for the past five years should read ‘nomad’. I’ve lived in New York, Philadelphia, Chicago, San Antonio, St. Louis, and even in an L.A. suburb. Right now, I’m on my way to South Korea. Each line of my resume places me in a different state and/or in a different industry so it’s quite likely that most companies seeking a long-term employee will immediately discard it upon review despite my qualifications; it doesn’t exactly scream company loyalty. Here’s the thing: I’m okay with that. Why? Because I’m different. That fact is evidenced not just by my thought process, hairstyle, interests or style of dress; my journey and choices are highly reflective of my individuality. My path hasn’t always been easy or glamorous, but it has been true to my essence as a free spirit.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, here’s a little something else: you’re different, too. You have dreams you haven’t followed, thoughts you haven’t shared, passions you haven’t explored. In short, you have a life you haven’t lived.

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Monday motivation: Have you lost your muchness?

Mar
15

alice in wonderland

Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland entertained me last night, in addition to providing a little inspiration. As Alice fights her fate in Wonderland, Mad Hatter tells her, “You were much more muchier. You’ve lost your muchness.”

Today’s question is “have you lost your muchness?” If the answer is yes, the follow-up question is “what can you do to reclaim it?” If the answer is no, the follow-up is “Yay! Great for you,” and “what’s next?”

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Goodness in the blogosphere…

Aug
04

More than money

Jul
16

Life is about so much more than money. Passion=purpose. Define success for yourself. Live the life you want to live. Paint your own picture with your own colors.

What are you doing to have the life you want?

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”
– Bill Cosby

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.
If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”

– Albert Schweitzer


Parable by Dr. Mark S. Albion.

My life changed when I chose to fully believe in purpose

Jul
14

sky purpose

I was once a half-hearted fatalist.  Everything happened for a reason, but the undesirable moments were flukes.  “What did I do to deserve this?  There must be some kind of mistake.”  As such, I fully embraced the victim mentality and chose to believe I had little power over outcomes in my life.  I was wading in a pool of uncertainty and insecurity, and downright miserable because of it.

There was, however, a turning point.  (more…)

Challenge: Find the good in where you are

Apr
05

heal-heart

Right now, I live in San Antonio. Been here for about seven months and can’t say that it’s been the most exciting time of my life. I can say that it’s been a very therapeutic time for me. Not too long ago, I realized that everywhere I’ve lived has served a different purpose for me, acted as a sort of theme, if you will. I was raised in St. Louis, which served as the framework for my understanding of the world. In Chicago, I really grew into my own. Became more of that which I already was. I moved to New York and really began to understand my work ethic. If I care, I’m all in. If I don’t, I’m pretty much out. The second time I was in Chicago was the most broke and probably depressing time of my life. I realized that I needed to make some changes. When I moved to California, I began to make some of those changes. Insights about my family structure of my childhood, or the lack thereof, became clear to me. Shortly thereafter, I moved to Philadelphia and the overarching theme of that period was love. L-O-V-E. As is the case with many relationships, my beau at the time served as a mirror for me, allowing me to see myself as I was and decide which changes I wanted to make. My time in Texas has been very introspective. Not a lot of activity, but necessarily so. I’m not sure I would’ve been able to grow the way I have in this time if I were in a city that really had my attention. So, yes, I’ve been ‘stranded’ on the West side of San Antonio, but I’m better because of my relatively dull evenings and weekends indoors.

Operating with the understanding of why I’m in Texas, in terms of the larger theme of healing, has been incredibly helpful. I no longer hate being here or think I made a mistake in moving here. Very often, we condemn parts of our lives because we don’t understand their purposes.  Everything can be used.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  Meaning is never inherent; it’s always created.  Find the value in the experiences you’ve had and the experiences you’re having right now.  If you haven’t done this already, it will change the way you understand your world.

Find the good.

Be my hero…

Feb
15

I was scanning the archives for something in particular that I never found. What I did find, however, was something I wrote a while ago. As I read it, I realized it had a certain weight and energy to it that needed to be put out into the cosmos once more. So…reduce, reuse, recycle:

Does your voice/opinion/life matter? Yes…I’m talking to YOU!

**While reading this note, please consider the possibility that it was written just for you.**

Yes, our political system is purposely full of shit. And yes, power with Godlessness is always corrupted, therefore the US political system will probably remain corrupted. But is the only power you have in the form of a vote that’s “taken into consideration” by a representative who then casts their “representative” vote?

So much goes on in our society that we — WE, you and I– dislike, yet do nothing about. We complain about the political process, the politicians, the war, the taxes, the economic state, the this, the that…yet sit idly and complacently as we scan online social networks for new blogs, pictures, and wall posts. Okay, maybe you don’t, but…

Thing is…voting is ONE way that we’re able to voice our opinions, but it’s not the ONLY way. We can’t keep leaving it up to the media to tell us what’s going on in the world. We can’t leave it up to government to make changes in the world.

I’ve decided that I have value. My thoughts, words, opinion, and life all matter. Not because I’m going to be a famous author and transformational speaker, but because I’m going to live a congruent life that’s based on making the world a better place for everyone.

That word “better” is problematic. “What is exactly does it mean?” you may want to know. I’ll tell you. Better is access to things that sustain life, not because you have money, but because you have life. Better is cooperative living rather than individualistic selfishness. We’re all really messed up from the US’ theme of rugged individualism. A divided house will never stand. (Consider that maybe that’s the point.) Better is peace and open dialogue. Better is clean air and water and sustainability. Better is food that you can pronounce because it’s REAL and has never seen a factory or a plastic bag. Better is love, understanding, and the presence of God opposed to the lurking presence of fear and evil. Better is an education for everyone that includes critical thinking. Better is racially and culturally inclusive media for people of all ages, races, and nationalities. Better is music that makes your heart, soul, and body sing and dance because you’re uplifted and moved closer to God. Better is men that respect and love women. Better is women that respect themselves and can trust men. Better is when networks of people from all over the world unite for common causes not for direct profit gain, but because we’re all one body of people spread across several lands.

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Your unique road. “You can do it!”

Jan
28

Last night, I got an email from a cyberfriend that really warmed my heart. In my response, I found myself speaking not just to him, but also to myself. That happens frequently when I give advice.

If I can offer some advice, I’ll say follow your heart. Since college, I’ve lived in New York, Chicago again, California, Philly, and now I’m in San Antonio and will be moving at the conclusion of this program.

There are moments when I feel lost and like I’m wandering, but I’m not. Don’t be afraid to try on new hats…but don’t be afraid to take them off should you find they don’t fit as you hoped they would. Don’t be afraid to live your life as YOU see fit. Don’t be afraid to avoid the paths others take, even if “everybody” is doing it. Follow your path. Listen to your truth. Learn and know your truth. All the while, stay humble and open. You’ll be okay…but know that finding your joy and place in this world requires you to be true to yourself and do what you’re doing right now…PUSHING yourself. You can’t get something you’ve never had without doing something you’ve never done.

Right now, life is falling into place…even as I criticize it in my confusion, pain, fear and angst. I’m onto something and standing at the brink of discovering my greatness.  I’m starting to follow my bliss and beginning to understand the rewards that come with doing so.  Passion = Purpose.  Do you know yours?

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