What My World's Like

#notetoself: touch the sky.

Apr
03

This is the fifth #notetoself letter, originally sent on March 5, 2012.

Henry David Thoreau said, “the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” He lived in the first half of the 19th century and yet those words still contain truth today. It’s sad. Quiet desperation kills the spirit.

Before this trip, I realized how discontent I’d become with my life. My work didn’t matter to me. I wasn’t even sure what I was doing with my “work”. I never knew how answer the “what do you do?” question. I don’t know. Live. That was the response I wanted to give.

I’m a great starter. My starting energy is fresh, empathic and certain. Then, slowly but surely, it’d wane and I’d quit. I’m also a great quitter. My attention usually shifts gears to something else equally engaging.

That’s a pattern I’m really sick of.

A few nights ago, I happened upon an Alicia Keys’ song called “How It Feels to Fly” that’s feeding my soul. With such ambiguous lyrics, I don’t know exactly what she’s talking about in the song, but for me, it makes me think about reaching for my dreams.

“I am riding high, don’t wanna come down.
Hope my wings don’t fail me now.
If I can touch the sky, I’d risk the fall
Just to know it feels to fly.”

How many of our goals are our own? Whose definition of success drives our actions? I can criticize corporate America all I want, but I was a part of the rat race, even if I didn’t have a 9-5. The discontent I feel is the result of not doing things I wanted to do, for whatever reason. There’s so much I want to do, and have wanted to do but have neglected to. This trip is the perfect example of a dream deferred. I’ve always wanted to travel and stay somewhere for a longer period of time. That’s just now happening for me. On the other hand, I appreciate it just the same because I can receive so much of this experience differently than I might have in the past.

Being here has awakened me to my desire to do things I’ve neglected to do, things I let sit in the recesses of my mind and my heart. They were there, alive, but unattended. Living a life with meaning, passion and fulfillment are of incredible importance to me.

Earlier last week, one of the people I’ve been blessed to meet on this trip asked me if I wanted to hike one of the two volcanoes on the island. Of course he wanted to do the larger volcano, Volcan Concepcion, the one we look at everyday. Without hesitation, I said yes. Sure. Why not?

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to the creatives…

Jan
06

do the work. be courageous.

Source: Mreeuh Chang

Monday motivation: know when to slow down, stop, or keep going

Oct
05

slow down

Last week, I seriously contemplated opting out of this two-year Master’s program I just started a month ago. In theory, it’s a great program and an excellent opportunity. It’s not that it’s not; I use “in theory” because it may or may not be right for me. I’ll be passionate about it every once in a while for a moment, but the excitement always seems to dissipate leaving me wondering if I really want to go down this path.

I was pretty close to pressing the brakes last week. Some understood how I felt and some encouraged me to give it more thought. Down to the wire at a possibly pivotal moment, I decided to make the decision pressure-free and trudge along for now. That meant a weekend of relatively no sleep as I prepared to complete this assignment I grossly over-exaggerated. Hours before my deadline, I realized my error, both in horror and relief. Horror because relaxation, sleep, and the comfort of completion could’ve been my friends much sooner and relief because I think I would’ve missed the deadline. What I built into a high hurdle would’ve only really required a little jump. If I would’ve quit and realized this after the fact, regret would’ve probably accompanied that decision.

Lessons learned:
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