What My World's Like

master love…or die trying.

Feb
06

Love, forgiveness, and relationships have been occupying most of my mental space recently, which is why the last few posts have been about that. It’s the running theme of my life right now, and you can expect more inquiry and exploration in that department. I think it’s helpful for everyone.

On that note, I’m revisiting Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship. The third and seventh chapters, titled “The Man Who Didn’t Believe in Love” and “The Dream Master”, both struck a chord with me. I hope they offer something valuable to you as well. Click the links for transcripts of each chapter.

[audio:http://www.whatmyworldslike.com/audio/masteryoflovech3.mp3]
Don Miguel Ruiz’s Mastery of Love, chapter 3: “The Man Who Didn’t Believe in Love”, 9:23

[audio:http://www.whatmyworldslike.com/audio/masteryoflovech7.mp3]
Don Miguel Ruiz’s Mastery of Love, chapter 7: “The Dream Master”, 4:19

Is your love love?

Apr
27

black-couple-arguing

So much of our worlds are inherited. Often times, what we think about ourselves, about others, how we behave and cope with emotional stress, our expectations as it relates to career, love, and life in general, and so much more are all passed down to us from the people we interact with and from what we read or hear. Children are perfect little recorders of their environments. They pick up the vocabulary, the dialect, and all the subtleties of the human behavior surrounding them. Because of that, the emotional space a child grows up in plays a major role in how they experience and demonstrate their emotions throughout life.

My last relationship was my first adult relationship, and I went into it stumbling, wanting this love, yet very fearful. Much of the time we were together, instead of placing my trust in my partner and what we were building, I was afraid to really open myself up and let him in, let him know where I’d been and what I battled with. In being dishonest with myself, I was dishonest with him. I thought I knew how to love, but I didn’t. The reality was that I didn’t know how to love myself, so I didn’t know how to love him and I felt sort of inept the whole time we were together. Why couldn’t I open up? Why couldn’t I articulate my feelings? Why was I so afraid to be vulnerable and discuss my emotions? Why couldn’t I treat him the way he deserved to be treated?

One word: dysfunction. I was dysfunctional.

(more…)

Mind control, focus, and reflection

Feb
24

naikan

Recently, I’ve been more focused on self-mastery.  So many of us are reactionary and that’s part of the reason why so many people aren’t happy with their lives–because there isn’t a strong enough sense of control.

The one thing we can control, even if it doesn’t necessarily seem that way, is our reactions.  In order to effectively do this, we need to exercise control over our thoughts and feelings.  It’s no small feat, but one I’m sure is certainly worth the undertaking.

Ever since seeing Revolutionary Road, I’ve been keenly aware of the path I’m on and what its limitations are.  There’s a certain way I’d like to live my life and I’m not even sure how much I’d truly enjoy my life if I got everything I think I want without a change in the way I approach life.

Therefore, I’ve been making some changes.

One change is in my level of gratitude, simply appreciating what in my life I understand as good.  Looking for the good has forced me to find some sort of lesson in my daily experiences.  Doing so has, even in this short amount of time, enhanced my level of personal accountability.

Today, I found this short article on Naikan, a Japanese method of self-reflection, hinged on 3 questions:

1. What have I received?

2. What have I given?

3. What trouble have I caused?

Self-reflection is the most important aspect of personal growth.  I’ll be working to answer these questions daily.