I’ve spent the last few months contemplating love, dysfunction and the relationship between the two. Does the absence of love breed dysfunction? That question leads to several other questions, such as “what is love?” It’s an age-old question that I’m not equipped to answer with absolute certainty at this point (maybe another post), but I know that the two don’t comfortably co-exist, and yet so many operate in a constant state of dysfunctionÂ butÂ try to invite love in and see no positive results. It’s both amazing and amazingly sad.
After a failed romantic endeavor, I spent months beating myself up about my ineptitudes, which–aha!–didn’t improve anything. Once I got over myself and was able to sift through all the many lessons, I found this:
- How you love yourself is how you’ll love others.
- Being able to love others only truly happens when you love yourself.
- You learn love from your parents.
- You also learn dysfunction from your parents.
- AtÂ some point, you’ll have to sort out your mess from your parents mess and make new agreements with yourself about what you believe to be true.